Christmas has officially come and gone. It was a bit backwards, having Christmas Eve the day after Christmas, due to an increased number of illnesses in the family. This year I had gone over to my dad's the weekend before and helped make the homemade pasta and pastelli soup. Homemade pasta just doesn't feel worth all the time and effort it takes. I could have gotten a couple boxes of fettucini from the grocery store and let that boil for 7-8 minutes, instead of labored for a full day kneading and flattening and more flattening and waiting. But I guess tradition is tradition, and I wouldn't want to lose some of them just because of laziness.
It has been really nice being around my family. They are definitely distracting. I am going to miss that distraction greatly when I go back to Tenn. I've been coping really well, really. Sure, there have been a couple hard days, especially Christmas Eve, when it just felt a bit incomplete without him sharing it all with me. People have been worried about how I've been doing and I say I'm fine, because it's honestly true. Being up in Mass is the best thing for me right now, seeing my family and friends. What I'm worried about is when I'm not here anymore, when I'm really alone. I don't know what it's going to be like, and I really don't want to imagine it, so I don't. Ask me on the 12th how I'm doing, because right now I'm doing okay.
Don't get me wrong, I still miss him like crazy. But so far it's kind of felt like an extended vacation back home that he just couldn't come with me for. He was never a huge part of my life here in Mass, because the only time he was here was when he was visiting me. Our life together is in Tenn, and I really haven't had a chance to miss that yet. With that I'll leave you with some lyrics, since it's been 18 days since I've seen Tom. Strangely enough, this song didn't really effect me before, but then Tom and I saw them perform this song at Buzz Fust this year and they dedicated it to all the soldiers fighting overseas. Of course, now the song gets to me.
Saving Abel, 18 Days
It's been 18 days
Since I'd look at myself
I don't want to have to change
If I dont than noone will
Is it my state of mind?
Or is it just everything else?
I don't want to have to be hereI don't understand it now
It's been 18 days
Since I first held you
But to me it feels just like, it feels like a lifetime
I'm trying hard to rearrange
Some say its the hardest thing to do
But that's another 18 days
Without you...
Time after time
I've been through this
You show what it means to live
You give me hope when I was hopeless
As my days fade to night
I remember that state of my mind
I'm soaring straight into your heart
And I'll fly high
It's been 18 days
Since I first held you
But to me it feels just like, it feels like a lifetime
I'm trying hard to rearrange
Some say its the hardest thing to do
But that's another 18 days
Without you...
And I know what they say about all good things
Will they come to end
But I'll fight this time
So that we might have a chance at this
Cuz Its been 18 days
Since i'd look at myself
And I dont want to have to change
If I dont than noone will
Cuz Its been too many days since I first held you
But to me it feels just like, it feels like a lifetime
I'm trying hard to rearrangeS
ome say its the hardest thing to do
But its just too many days
Without you
And I know what they say
About all good things
Will they come to an end
But I'll fight this time
So that we might
Have a chance at this
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