Tom had yesterday off, his first free day since he got deployed. I imagine that having a 12 and a half hour shift with no weekends, no days off can really start to get to a person. There's nothing to look forward to. Just a constant endless horrible cycle of working, sleeping, working, sleeping. He doesn't really complain though, that's just not how he is. He does claim to be tired, but that's nothing new for him. I was really happy for him that he got to relax and take a break.
Because of his day off, we finally got to talk. We have been talking almost everyday, but we haven't really been talking. There's the everyday conversations that you have with most people around you, "how are you, how was your day, what's new?" and so on. Things get said, you catch up on the current events of your life and your surroundings, but it tends to be shallow. No one digs real deep and gets to the heart of anything real. We do need these, this is how we stay connected with most of the world. But then there are the real heart to heart conversations. The ones that leave you really feeling something more. The ones that don't happen necessarily everyday or with many people, but the ones that you remember and hold on to. These are the ones that dig deep to the issues and bring light things that maybe you wanted to keep buried from the rest of the world. They require time, trust, and good communication skills.
Tom and I finally got a chance to talk yesterday, and it felt so good. I spent hours in front of my computer screen with him. I know a lot of people don't believe that you can really have good communication through the internet, but they're wrong. Ya, you are missing a certain aspects of nonverbal comminucation, but as long as both parties are listening and saying how they feel, keeping things honest and real, than you can make up for that deficiency. Part of making a relationship like ours work is learning to deal with what we have and using it to our full advantage. Instead of focusing on what we don't have, we take what we've still got and focus on how to make it work. It's one of our greatest strengths as a couple, being able to adapt to the situation and not let it bring us down.
I'm greatful for yesterday. Even though it was hard at some points, it felt good knowing that we still had the ability to talk about what really mattered. I think we both said and heard some things that neither one of us wanted to converse about, but they were important and we had to face them. I'm glad we did, and even though we are oceans apart, I still felt so close to him.
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