Day 164: May 24, 2009

The honeymoon is booked! We decided to go all inclusive and got a huge major deal because of Memorial Day weekend. Good things happen on Memorial Day weekend I guess. Three years ago Circuit City was having a sale and I got my Nikon D70s, my first DSLR camera. Tom stayed up with me all night to teach me how to use that thing. It was great, and it was the first time I saw how patient and smart he was. Two Memorial Day's ago (aka 2 years ago) I moved down to Tennessee with Tom. The night before I had gotten rip roaring drunk drinking margaritas and tequila shots all night at my graduation/going away party. The next morning was AWFUL. My sister and I were taking turns puking in the bathroom (actually she had just passed out in there by the toilet), and I was so worried I wasnt going to survive the drive from Massachusetts to Tennessee in the state I was in. Not to mention the emotional upheaval I was feeling about moving so far away from my friends and family. But it turned out okay, and moving down here was exciting. It was the start of a new chapter in my life. Last Memorial Day I was celebrating the end of my physical therapy and getting ready for our cruise that Tom and I were leaving for in a few days. I really really thought he was going to purpose to me... he didn't, he saved it for later, but I knew it was going to be coming soon. Next Memorial Day weekend we will be having our party in Mass to celebrate our wedding for all the people who won't be making it on the cruise (which is most people) and then we will be starting our honeymoon the next day. St. Lucia, here we come!

I still can't believe that I've been here for two years. That went by incredibly fast, even though the last six months have felt like an eternity. But its true what they say about time flying by when you are having fun because all the time that Tom was here really did fly by. It amazes me that if he were still here we would now have been living together for two years. Two years! Before him my relationships couldn't even get past two months, and now look at me. Truth be told I cannot even remember what it was like not to have him in my life. My life truly began when we started talking and its been an amazing journey ever since.

Uk, I just got super sappy and I did not mean for this post to get sappy. Actually I had thought of lots of thoughtful things to say, none of them particular cheerful... but they seem to escape me now as I sit here typing.

It's been an emotional roller coaster this week, to say the least. I've gone from down in the gutter to up to cloud nine. I've been mad, sad, happy, exstatic, angered, irritated, worried, and just about every other feeling possible. Its a bit overwhelming just to feel so much all the time. But I guess thats how you know you really love someone, that you can get that worked up and still at the end of the day want to spend the rest of them doing the same exact thing. I'd rather spend my days on this emotional rollercoaster with him than sit by myself on the bench alone too afraid of the bumps. Honestly, this week has actually been eye opening, and I'm glad for that. I'm glad to know he cares enough to get upset too, and I'm glad that we have the skills to both sit down and talk about it all rationally. We don't hide from one another, we dont let it fester, we talk about it and work it out. And that's exactly why I know we're going to make it till the end. We're different from other couples, we always have been, but it works so well for us.

God I just love him so much. Sometimes I feel like the love is going to burst all out of me because its just too much to contain. I'm going to steal a paragraph from Nora Roberts newest book "Visions in White" which I just finished today. I read it and thought, that's what I want my vows to sound like!

"I love you. I love who we are together. I love who I think we might be. I'll screw up. So wil you, you're not perfect. We'll hurt each other, and make each other laugh. We'll make love and we'll fight. I want us to promise to try not to let each other go. Trying's all we can do."